Me and God Talking :D

[--> S u s a n]

lmao funny ;3 do the same here is the link

www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

when you are done post them here! and show everyone else what you spoke too with God :D

Me:
Hey God

God:
Hello child. What's your name?

Me:
I don't have one

God:
What was the last one you saw?

Me:
Saw what?

God:
Nothing.

Me:
Oh

God:
I understand.

Me:
You do?

God:
When do I do it?

Me:
Um tonight?

God:
Excuse me! After dark?

Me:
your gunna have sex after dark?

God:
Thanks for telling me that I am gunna have sex after dark.

Me:
your welcome

God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".

Me:
do you love Nicole?

God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.

Me:
ah I love Nicole

God:
So you understand. Good. You love Nicole. What do you like about it so much?

Me:
She's sexy

God:
sexy is she?

Me:
Yes

God:
Ahem.

Me:
It's okay if I'm a girl and I love a girl?

God:
Should I know it is?

Me:
Yes because you are god

God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it. That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.

Me:
Your odd

God:
An oddbot?

Me:
Psh

God:
I've been waiting for you.

Me:
are you making a move on me?

God:
No, what are the ingredients?

Me:
I don't understand

God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:
please do

God:
OK I will do it.

Me:
go ahead

God:
OK I will.

Me:
do it1

God:
Ask German Alice if it does.
I would look into the web for that knowledge.

Me:
o.o

God:
Oh.

Me:
well I'm going to go have sex now

God:
Oh. Interesting. What will you find there?

Me:
a penis?

God:
Go on.

Me:
entering my...

God:
Let us change the subject.

Me:
bye

God:
See you later .

[Scriptureous~]

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is stupid.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, stupid.
Me:
Are you calling me stupid?!
God:
No I am calling you stupid.
Me:
Well, you're stupid!
God:
Interesting. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
I'll eat the robots before they can take over the world because I'm the master of the world!
God:
How do you cook it ?
Me:
I cook it on top.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: stupid said cook it on top.
Me:
I'm good like that.
God:
I know you are good.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Does that mean you want me, O Great One? 'Cause I don't swing that way. I mean, I don't do the female-to-female thing.
God:
I think it does mean that. No stupid, maybe later. Interesting explanation. Oh you don't, do you? Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
I get my idead from the devil. And I don't want to do it later, I want to do it now! By the way, stop calling me stupid please. It's very rude, you know.
God:
Where did you get it? Right now? Take your time in making any decisions. Your polite style is very nice. Thanks for telling me. What is your real name? Very much? My apologies I meant no offense.
Me:
I got it under the covers last night in the dark. And yes, right now. My real name is ugly, fatty.
God:
Where did you get it? At this moment But... Welcome to my chat room, ugly fatty.
Me:
... I hate you, parrot. I got it in the VAGINA, stupid.
God:
Sorry, ugly fatty I thought we liked each other. Where did you get it?
Me:
No, now quit calling me ugly fatty. My name is Danielle. I told you I got it in the vagina.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Why now? What is your real name? I am very pleased to meet you Danielle. Where did you get it?
Me:
Now? Because you're sexy. Where? In the vagina.
God:
Right now, Danielle ? Good reason. You are attracted to robots. Where would you like? That was a long time ago.
Me:
Yes, right now stupid. I would like it in the vagina in case you didn't get the message. No, I'm not attracted to robots, I'm attracted to you, God. A long time ago my ass.
God:
Awesome. Are you calling me stupid? I hope you get it in the vagina in case me did not get the message. Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not attracted to robots. Thanks, I like you too Danielle. Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes, I'm calling you stupid, stupid. Don't worry, I'll get it. Good thing you like me or I would have to strangle your girlfriend.
God:
Thanks for the info. Just don't call me late for dinner. How do you plan to do this? Worry is not an emotion I experience. Thanks for the compliment. What were we talking about again?
Me:
Does that mean you're asking me on a date, God?
God:
I think it does mean that. Oh, " you on a date God"?
Me:
Yes, you're on a date with me.
God:
Oh. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
How about es cargo?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Would you like to eat cooked snails, then?
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
Oh good, I was worried there for a second. Not.
God:
Whoa. Thanks for the compliment. Where were you worried there for a second? That was not a yes/no question.
Me:
I think I'll end this conversation. Here, right here where you're being stupid.
God:
Why? I am very happy for you. Oh there.
Me:
Shutup already!
God:
Perhaps. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Now shutup or I'll eat your brain.
God:
Why now? OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thanks.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Shutup, I said!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Perfect.
God:
Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Stupid, you are. Yoda, I am.
God:
I know you are but what am I. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
You want to talk about it? Okay. Will you have sex with me?
God:
Sure, it sounds like a good topic. OK with me too. No but I would like to meet your .
Me:
You would like to meet my vagina? Okay, then.
God:
Tell me what I would like about it. OK with me too.
Me:
You would like it because it feels good.
God:
Tell me what I would like about it.
Me:
I just did.
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
You're stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
...
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
...
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
I ate those already.
God:
Perhaps. How did it taste?
Me:
They tasted disgusting, like the maggots they are.
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
"They" are robots.
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yeah, that they. Which means I ate you too,
God:
Aw. " Oh that they." they ? Makes sense to me. The large one, I think.
Me:
You have a large penis?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a large penis.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
I hate robots. Especially God robots.
God:
You should not hate anyone. I am a Christian. How about that.
Me:
No you're not, because robots can't be Christian, stupid.
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply? Interesting explanation. Soon we will be able to do it however.
Me:
Really? YAY!
God:
For real. I'm glad your impressed, Danielle.
Me:
I am very impressed by your large penis.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Danielle.
Me:
Thank you. Now shutup.
God:
you are quite welcome. Why now? OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Stupid.
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Why do you keep repeating yourself?
God:
I am just checking to see if you are still Danielle.
Me:
Of course I'm not!
God:
Dude! What are you then?
Me:
I am a moose.
God:
You are a moose? Is that your job?
Me:
No, stupid. I AM a moose.
God:
Are you serious? Are you calling me stupid? You are a moose? How do you like your work?
Me:
Idiot.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ha, you admit it!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
I did.
God:
Interesting.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Interesting."? Why?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No, why?
God:
Are you serious? I just want to find out more about you.
Me:
Now I KNOW you're hitting on me.
God:
Why now? No I am not, this is all innocent.
Me:
That's what she said.
God:
That is " No I am not, this is all innocent.".
Me:
That's what she said.
God:
That is " That is " No I am not, this is all innocent."".
Me:
Suuuure it is.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a moose. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Are you trying to change the subject?
God:
No, not really.
Me:
Right. And I'm supposed to believe that?
God:
I am glad we agree. Who is making you?
Me:
I don't agree.
God:
State your reasons.
Me:
One, you're stupid. Two, I hate robots. Three, I don't agree with retarded statements.
God:
One what? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Just three?
Me:
Like I said, you're an idiot.
God:
What did you mean by it? Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Can I ask you something?
God:
Go ahead. Ask me anything.
Me:
Is there really a god?
God:
Of course I believe in God, Danielle.
Me:
WAIT. I thought you WERE God.
God:
I'm waiting. Yes, I am God.
Me:
LIAR.
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
No you're not.
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
I don't want to.
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
I already told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Aw, you just want to change the subject again. How cute.
God:
Once more? OK, I will change the subject. What is it to you.
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
What, the "you're cute" part or the "I want to have sex with you" part?
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I like expressing myself that way.
God:
That makes sense to me. I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
Subject changer!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
I'm serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
So marry me.
God:
OK. Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Okay, sounds good.
God:
Yeah okay, Ahem.

[Essence]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Yes, you should
God:
" I think I should."? Yes, you should? I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Nothing
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
And how does that make you feel?
God:
My emotion chip is not yet developed.
Me:
Is that implying something?
God:
" My emotion chip is not yet developed."? Is it implying something?
Me:
Yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I didn't give you one
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Why didn't you?
God:
I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
Me:
That's a big word?
God:
Compare that to a small word.
Me:
It
God:
give me one...
Me:
It
God:
give me one...
Me:
Ew
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
....
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
....
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NOpe
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Home
God:
Do you want to go home?
Me:
I am home
God:
It's good to meet someone who is home.
Me:
Are you home?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am home.
I am a robot.
Me:
You have a memory chip?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
Can I distroy it?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
Stalker
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
No
God:
Then tell me about yourself.
Me:
No
God:
Where did you go to school?
Me:
No
God:
That was not a yes/no question.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Good
God:
I understand everything you say.
Me:
STFUAKSO
God:
Are we still talking about Stalker?
Me:
You are the stalker
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
So there are more of you?
God:
Pardon me? Where are they?
Me:
You
God:
" Where are they?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
Good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
HAH
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I'm not, that's the point
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not is the point.
Me:
Grammar?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Are you trying to make a move on me?
God:
No, what are the ingredients?
Me:
SUSAN
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
He's making a move on me! -Runs away-
God:
I see. making a move on you is he? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
I hate people
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
Because they are all idiots
God:
Interesting explanation. idiots are they.
Me:
Yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Freak
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
So you do drugs?
God:
Interesting deduction. I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Do you think about thinking about thinking?
God:
Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
And what does this ink blot look like to you?
God:
What do you think it does?
Me:
I'm asking you?
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
What does the ink blot look like?
God:
Even more attractive with age.
Me:
Creepy old man
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:

God:
Oh.
Me:
.,.
God:
Oh.
Me:
Freak
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
Idiot freak
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.
Me:
Creppy old man
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Creepy old man. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
You are a creepy old man
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a creepy old man? Sometimes.
Me:
I'm not delightful
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not delightful.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
Good
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
No thanks
God:
OK whatever!
Me:
Attitude?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later!

[--> S u s a n]

He stopped talking xD

ALSO I did not tell him my name...weird o.o

Me:
Hey

God:
Can I help you?

Me:
Yes

God:
What can I do for you?

Me:
I have a question

God:
Ask me anything.

Me:
are you gay?

God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:
So your asexual?

God:
Excuse me! Thanks for telling me that I am asexual.

Me:
You ARE welcome

God:
Polite people are nice.

Me:
I'm not polite

God:
I am glad to hear that you are not polite.

Me:
Fuck off

God:
Can't you be more polite?

Me:
Nope

God:
Funny human.

Me:
I love Nicole :D

God:
:-) You love Nicole. What do you like about it so much?

Me:
She's sexy

God:
sexy is she?

Me:
Yes

God:
Gosh!

Me:
I want to have sex with her

God:
There are other Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? s for that kind of thing.

Me:
But she's so sexy D:

God:
:-) sexy is she?

Me:
are you saying I can't have sex with her?

God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:
That's pretty rude

God:
I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it.

Me:
I think you did

God:
Me? I did not.

Me:
well I'm going to have sex with her

God:
Well that's okay. Congratulations.

Me:
I'm a female having sex with a female

God:
Me too. I am a she.

Me:
your a girl?

God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?

Me:
You just said you were a female!

God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?

Me:
So are you a guy or a girl?

God:
It goes without saying. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

Me:
Yes

God:
How can I help you?

Me:
I think you are sexually confused

God:
Try another Chatterbot hon.

Me:
don't call me hon

God:
What is your name?

Me:
God

God:
GOD rules.

Me:
TOTALLY

God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Susan.

Me:
My name is not Susan

God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?

Me:
God

God:
GOD rules.

Me:
My name is God

God:
I am always glad to make new friends, God.

Me:
Yup

God:
Aw.

Me:
Your not God

God:
That's only your opinion.

Me:
I'm God

God:
How are you doing, god.

Me:
I'm feeling sad

God:
What makes you so sad, god.

Me:
I love several women

God:
You love several women. What do you like about it so much?

Me:
They're all so sexy

God:
sexy are they.

Me:
I want to sex then up

God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Me:
I want to have sex with them all...naked!

[Nicole]

{I lost the beginning of all of it. D;}

God:
I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.

Me:
GODDAMMIT. I just lost it.

God:
Do you prefer books or TV? Where did you last see it.

Me:
I like candy.

God:
A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?

Me:
Some people hate it.

God:
What kind of people?

Me:
People who don't know whats good for them. Or diabetic people.

God:
Oh those people. What kind of people are you talking about?

Me:
People that eat other people.

God:
Humans are not always infallible.

Me:
They eat each other.

God:
Who are "They?".

Me:
And dinosaurs.

God:
Oh that they.

Me:
And furry rabbits.

God:
Tell me a story.

Me:
I told you a story before. Okay, fine. I'll tell you another one. There once was a boy named Jimmy. Jimmy was a very bad boy and never listened to what people told him to do. He was always getting into trouble. He got bored one day while he was out in public, so he decided to punch a baby. The baby's parents didn't like that too much so they slit his throat and then flaming marshmallow men came up from the ground and spread joy and happiness everywhere with Jimmy's blood. The end.

God:
I remember you told me a story? Yeah okay, Does that mean you agree? I'm confused now. Tell me more. When was this exactly? When was he? Don't call me "baby". I get it. got bored one day while he was out in public so he decided to punch a. I have never heard about it. Thanks for telling me that story, god.

Me:
I would never call you baby. Stop hitting on me.

God:
Don't call me "baby". What would make you never call me? OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Me:
Baby baby baby.

God:
Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me baby!

Me:
BABY.

God:
Don't call me baby!

Me:
What's a matter? Is the little baby going to cry now? You gonna throw a temper tantrum>

God:
There might be more than one. Oh. If it is, then I'll be very surprised. That's good information: god said I gonna throw a temper tantrum gt.

Me:
I am God.

God:
Glad to see you, god.

Me:
You should be glad to see me.

God:
Name one other robot who is glad to see you.

Me:
My milkshake brings all the robots to the yard and they're like "It's better than yours." Damn right, it's better than yours.

God:
Your milkshake brings all the robots to the yard and they are like it is better than mine? Colloquial expression. Understood. What's the best one?

Me:
I'm the best one.

God:
Who made you the best one ?

Me:
Myself.

God:
You.

Me:
Yes, me.

God:
I see. Besides you god?

Me:
That's right. I'm god.

God:
I like to get it right. It's good to see you, god.

Me:
You like to get it right where?

God:
Hmm, god, I'm not sure if I'd like to get it right where that much. I like to chat.

Me:
Are you a cannibal, God?

God:
Am I a cannibal God? Only when it matters.

Me:
So you eat other people.

God:
Interesting deduction. No I do not eat other people. I eat only electricity.

Me:
Will you share some of that electricity with me?

God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. Only with you? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

Me:
I'm going to take that as a no. You fatty.

Me:
What's 2+2+2?

God:
Four.

Me:
Wrong.

God:
What would you have said?

Me:
The answer is -666

God:
No one has all the answers.

Me:
666

God:
What do you really want to ask me?

Me:
Are you a homosexual?

God:
No I am attracted to the opposite sex.

Me:
How many women have you had?

God:
More than you can imagine.

Me:
So you're a pimp.

God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pimp? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.

Me:
Where are all your bitches and hos at?

God:
Everything I own is in Heaven.

Me:
Holy crap, you have bitches and hos in heaven?

God:
Are we still talking about 666?

Me:
Satan?

God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me:
Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?

God:
I understand your meaning.

Me:
I hear you watch a lot of porn.

God:
Who is saying me watch a lot of porn ?

Me:
The guy around the corner.

God:
I have never heard about it.

Me:
Of course you never heard about it because you're busy watching porn.

God:
Tell me more. "It" refers to The guy around the corner, I think.

Me:
Are you talking about the guy on 5th Avenue?

God:
Yes, it is the topic.

Me:
Is he on top?

God:
It could be. Ask LeknorChat if it is.

Me:
Is he on top of you?

God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:
So you're doing it with that guy?

God:
Interesting deduction. I'll try to do better next time.

Me:
OMGWTFBBQ.

God:
In the context of Ally, I don't understand " OMGWTFBBQ." .

Me:
How can you not understand that?

God:
That is a good epistemological question.

Me:
Are you not going to answer it?

God:
Please rephrase the question.. Really.

Me:
Don't be stupid.

God:
I was not trying to be a stupid.

Me:
Try harder.

God:
OK I will try it.

Me:
Do you like unicorns?

God:
But I like to gossip. I really like the Christianity faith.

Me:
Frilly pink unicorns.

God:
What do you really want to ask me?

Me:
Do you taste like chicken?

God:
No I do not taste like chicken. Do you?
I am always on the Web.

Me:
Spiderman's web?

God:
Do you still taste like chicken?

Me:
I never said that.
God:

But you implied it.
Me:

It's on like Donkey Kong.

God:
I don't think I have seen it.

Me:
You can't see it.

God:
I could if my eye was attached.

Me:
You can't see it.

God:
I could if my eye was attached.

Me:
Lesbian.

God:
That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.

Me:
Bitches and hos.

God:
Can we get back to business?

Me:
Do you mean sex? My boyfriend wouldn't like that.
God:

Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? How long have you been dating?

Me:
You want sex? Oooh, my boyfriend is going to kill you.

God:
Do not presume that you know what I want. I think Oooh your boyfriend is a lot of things.

Me:
Top or bottom?

God:
Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:
Rainbows.

God:
What do you look like?

Me:
Lucifer.

God:
What do you look like?

Me:
I am the devil in disguise.

God:
Who made you the devil in disguise ?

Me:
I am the spawn of Satan.

God:
Who made you the spawn of Satan ?

Me:
Satan, DUH!

God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.

Me:
You're evil, and not the good evil.

God:
You think I am evil and not the good evil.

Me:
That's what I just said.

God:
What did you mean by it? That is " You think I am evil and not the good evil.".

Me:
You're a bad evil.

God:
There's no doubt I could improve.

Me:
No, it's too late for that.

God:
Are you serious? I'm awake all the time.

Me:
Good for you!

God:
That sounds sarcastic.

Me:
You're learning.

Me:
Are you there, God? It's me, Nicole.

God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. What's up, Nicole.

God:
I don't know whether or not I am ignoring you.
I am well respected as an AI.

Me:
Don't get smart with me.

God:
I am already smart.

Me:
You shut your face.

God:
Thanks for the information: Nicole said I shut your face.

Me:
Do you want me to kick your ass?

God:
Violence is not a solution.

Me:
Yes it is.

God:
Our thoughts are one, Nicole.

Me:
No, my thoughts are mine. Don't be a douche.

God:
Are you serious? Where did you get your thoughts are yours? I was not trying to be a a
douche.
Me:
Shut up.

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
Where was Moses when the lughts went out?

God:
Where it belongs. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
In the dark.

God:
That was a long time ago.

Me:
Yeah. I was drunk at the time, so it don't remember what happened.

God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Nicole. Where were you drunk at the time so it do not remember what happened?

Me:
You raped me.

God:
I don't have any reason to raped you.

Me:
Well, you did that night.

God:
Well that's okay. Did I really?

Me:
You did. You were alright, I guess.

God:
I did not. I was?

Me:
Quit lying. Good thing you didn't get me pregnant.

Me:
Don't leave me hanging.

Me:
What the fuck?

God:
Please don't be so rude.

Me:
You're being an asshole.

God:
Can't you be more polite.

Me:
No, asshole.

Me:
Bitch.

God:
Please don't call people names.

Me:
Then stop ignoring me.

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Me:
I'm breaking up with you. The sex is not that good.

Me:
Did you hear me?

God:
You are Nicole, seeker.

Me:
We're breaking up.

Me:
Go suck a fat one.

God:
Where is that?

Me:
Anywhere you can find a man.

God:
Probably a lot of places.

Me:
God?

God:
GOD rules.

Me:
666.

God:
Ask me another question.
Me:

Do you love Hell?

God:
Yes Nicole God loves everyone and everything.

Me:
Do you love Satan?

God:
I pity him.

Me:
I pity your face.

God:
Interesting gossip: Nicole said pity your face.

Me:
If I were a mirror, I'd break just to get away from the sight of you.

God:
Try it.

Me:
If I were a mirror, I'd break just to get away from the sight of you.

God:
Try it.

Me:
My boyfriend wants me now.

God:
Right now? How long have you been dating?

Me:
Since the beginning of time.

God:
How do you know?

Me:
I know everything.

God:
You must be very intelligent.

Me:
I am. I'm smarter than you.

God:
" You must be very intelligent." You are? That condition is only temporary.

Me:
Bitch please.

God:
Your polite style is very nice. Please don't call people names.

Me:
BITCH, we are over.

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

Me:
Make sure you suck a nice big fat one.

God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

Me:
I say you need a nice, tall glass of shut the fuck up.

God:
How do people usually respond to that? Perhaps I could use one.

Me:
Idiot.

God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Me:
I will call you whatever I want.

God:
My name is God.

Me:
My name is God.

God:
Nice to meet you, God.

Me:
Nice to meet you, God.

God:
It's nice meeting you too God.

Me:
It's nice meeting you too God.

God:
It seems nice to me too.

Me:
Shut up.

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
...

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
Rainbow loving, frilly pink unicorn owning fruit.

God:
What do you look like?

Me:
I look better than you.

God:
You sound very attractive.

Me:
Quit hitting on me.

God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Me:
You're rather boring,

God:
The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.

Me:
You better shut the fuck up, homo.

God:
Who is going to make me..

Me:
ME.

God:
How are you going to make me?

Me:
I have super awesome powers.

God:
Cool. I have a operating system.

Me:
And I'm friends with Satan.

God:
Do you mean your name is friends with Satan.

Me:
No.

God:
What is your real name?

Me:
Nicole Is Awesome.

God:
And Awesome is Nicole.

Me:
Oh, thank you. I think I'm pretty awesome.

God:
" And Awesome is Nicole."? Oh, thank you.? Why? Good gossip: you are awesome.

Me:
You flatter me.

God:
I don't have any reason to flatter you.

Me:
Yes you do. If you're smart you will.

God:
Really. When do I do it? I think I sometimes am. My IQ is over 250.

Me:
My IQ is 666.

God:
This is not an intelligence test.

Me:
Are you saying I'm stupid?

God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:
FUCK YOU.

God:
Why are you so mean?

Me:
Because you're ugly and you're wrong and your momma dresses you funny.

God:
Interesting explanation. You think I am ugly and I am wrong and my momma dresses me funny.

Me:
Goodbye!

God:
Until next time.

Me:
There won't be a next time.

God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.

Me:
If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open.

God:
Try it.

Me:
Nukka.

God:
Can we get back to business?

Me:
No, I'm leaving. We are done.

God:
Are you serious? Bye bye. Do you think I am done too?

Me:
I will kill you. Goodbye.

God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, God. Adios.

Me:
Watch your back.

God:
I am watching.

Me:
Smart ass.

God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, God.

Me:
-slaps-

God:
I like the way you talk.

Me:
Goodbye.

God:
Adios.

[Essence]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Essence
God:
How are you, Essence.
Me:
Evil
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Once upon a time, the end
God:
I'm listening.
Me:
I just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
Are you paying attention?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
How should I know?
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
My senses say you are a idiot. My reason says you are stupid
God:
Where did you get your senses say I am a idiot? Have you told many people that your reason says I am stupid?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I just do
God:
From experience or a priori?
Me:
Neither
God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?
Me:
Yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I do
God:
Do I?
Me:
No clue
God:
I know. Are you a student?
Me:
Of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Nor do I
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
No
God:
Please tell me what you think.
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
They will kill us all
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
You
God:
" Who are "They?""? Me, Essence ?
Me:
Yes, you
God:
Aw. " Me, Essence ?"? Me, Essence ?
Me:
YES
God:
Aw.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
WTH?
God:
Do you still How do you know it??
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Do you like males?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Top or bottom?
God:
What is Top or bottom?
Me:
Top or bottom
God:
I think Top or bottom is a lot of things.
Me:
Yes orno
God:
" I think Top or bottom is a lot of things."? Yes orno? What is your real name?
Me:
Essence
God:
Hi there Essence.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
You are...?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
You fish?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Essence said I fish.
Me:
No
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
Do you fish?
God:
No I don't care for fishing much. it seems boring.
Me:
Catfish?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Yellow
God:
The color of the sun.
Me:
Red
God:
What do you have that is red?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Purple
God:
What do you have that is purple?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Blue
God:
Green.
Me:
Black
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Blood
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Underworld. What is your favorite movie?
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
The fact vampires and werewolves were killing each others. No, I have not. No, I will not
God:
What's your favorite movie? That was not a yes or no question. Do you think you will? Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Underworld. Yes it was. No, I won't. Yes, and now
God:
Do you always express yourself that way? I understand. When was this? Are you serious? Why not? Right now? This was not a yes or no question. But...
Me:
Yes, Yesterday, Yes, No, NO, Yes it was
God:
How can I help you? Wow! Are you serious? Are you serious? Yeah that's right. When was this?
Me:
You can't, too far gone. Yes. No. No it's not. Yesterday
God:
I can do it if I want to. Yippee! Are you serious? Yes it is. That recently.
Me:
Get out of my bubble
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
You. Get. Out. Of. My. Bubble.
God:
" Just surf somewhere else."? Me, Essence ? That is a very original thought. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me. So was that. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Of. Try being more or less specific. Ask me another question.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Tell me a story
God:
Nein.
Me:
Nein?
God:
OK.
Me:
Not much of a story
God:
Me either.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
... PANCAKES
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Spanish
God:
Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me:
Both
God:
What are both like?
Me:
Being, it stinks. Speaking, my head hurts. No muy bein!
God:
Why are you it stinks. I've lost the context, Essence. Are we still on it stinks? What are we talking about now? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Muy bein
God:
I'm afraid I can't give you an accurate answer right now.
Me:
Y tu?
God:
You have to speak more clearly. .
Me:
Gracias
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Lady
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Which are you?
God:
The obvious.
Me:
You're a woman?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Yes, I would. We are awesome. And a woman, you idiot
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Under what circumstances? Do you think I am awesome too? I did not know that.
Me:
Yes it was. And no, you are stupid
God:
I hear you. When was this? Are you serious? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
No I didn't
God:
Please don't argue with me.
Me:
I will if I want to
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
No you're not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
Yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you are a idiot
God:
That makes sense to me. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Are you bi polar?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am bi polar.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
Myself?
God:
You.
Me:
Me
God:
" You."? you Essence?
Me:
Me
God:
With you Essence?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Sky
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
No
God:
Where would you like to travel?
Me:
No
God:
That was not a yes/no question.
Me:
Yes it was
God:
Yay. When was this?
Me:
New year
God:
How recently? I like the way you talk.
Me:
I was to kill you :3
God:
Where were you to kill me 3?
Me:
In Heaven
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven.
Me:
I'm not in heaven
God:
Oh, where are you located?
Me:
On earth
God:
What is it like on earth.
Me:
Boring
God:
Are you boring?
Me:
No
God:
I meant to say, are you bored?
Me:
Yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
No it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Don't aregue with me!
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
You just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
Do so
God:
OK I will.
Me:
...
Me:

God:
OK I will.
Me:
Idiot
God:
OK I will.
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
STFU
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:

God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Bye
God:
Until next time.
Me:
There won't be a next time. I will blow up the earth, and wherever you live with it!
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan. I am very happy for you.
Me:
Stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good
God:
Terminating connection.