Enter Void...

[--> S u s a n]

Yakira gently shook her head at his words. Perhaps he was right though, she wasn’t even sure herself why she was holding onto these memories. After all there were not many good ones. Mostly dark ones haunt her memories at night, yet she felt like she had to hang on to them, because they were apart of her. She was afraid if she was to let go, she would lose to happy ones as well. She would forget her mother and her father as well as her siblings. She would forget her uncle and aunt. “Perhaps you are right,” She said in a slow voice as she turned to look away from him. Maybe if she let go of the past then Rikara would leave her alone. She took a deep breath as she turned back to look at the male, “but I don’t think I’m strong enough to let go.” She said with a sad smile – a defeated look – almost as if she had given up on trying ands he was okay with that. She never wanted to follow in her mother’s foot prints, so she would remain like this, afraid of losing herself in the darkness, but she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be. Her mother gave in and killed herself and Yakira did not want to be like that. She wanted to be strong, but she wasn’t quite sure how to be strong. Perhaps like her father? Who was killed trying to protect Yakira from her brother? She did not know. She wished she did, but she did not. Many said they were brave and strong, but she wandered if they really meant it. What did it truly take to face fear in the eye and tell it you’re no longer afraid? Yakira had a heavy burden upon her back, the weight seemed to grow heavier as the days moved on, but she had lost faith in herself. She wandered if that made her just like her mother. “Mother…” she mumbled under her breath.

[rimarii]

Void heard something after her last words, but did not think that asking her what would be appropriate. He had seen other wolves who had been unable to let go of thier past, often for good reason, but some had been driven mad by it...Few were in fact brave or strong enough to let go. Even him, though Void would never admit it, had been unable to lose that last spark of hope, even through all of the darkness covering it. Oh, he could pretend it wasn't there, but then he always had to face it again. No wolf deserved to be in any sort of pain. Void attempted to smile back, but he was horribly aware that he was no longer any good at smiling, or any sort of expression for that matter. He had grown apart from other wolves over time, and often failed to communicate. Void managed to say "You aren't the only one, i'm sure..." before stopping. His wings unfolded slowly, almost of thier own accord, even as he tried to resist. Just a bit longer, don't make me fly yet, he thought, struggling to shut them again. After a few moments they stopped moving, and then he managed to fold them again. For now at least, he could rest a bit more...

[--> S u s a n]

“I know that,” Yakira said with a small frown. She didn’t like for others to feel sorry for her. She hated when others told her it would be okay as well, because most of the time they were just empty words, and they meant nothing. You could tell someone that they understood that everything worked out, but Yakira knew it was just false hope, not reality. She turned to look at him. She didn’t want him to believe she was a wimp who believed the whole world revolved around her problem or that she was the only one that ever had a problem. For she knew that she was luckier then others and yet she was not as lucky as most. “I know that I’m not the only one, but sometimes it feels like it.” It did. Sometimes it felt like she was in her own little world, never able to cross paths with others. Even if someone came up to her with a similar problem, Yakira doubted that they would be able to connect, and it would mostly be her fault. She was distance in the world. She was not connected with others, because she was afraid of getting hurt once again. Everyone around her that she once cared about and loved, vanished before her eyes. She had no relative alive except perhaps a few cousins and some distant relatives she never met and probably would never meet. Her mother, her father, her sister, her brother…everyone was gone. She hated her brother for he had done, but still…she missed Hakim. She hated Bandit. She shook her head and pushed the thoughts of her mind. “Wow, we haven’t introduced ourselves. My name is Yakira Riverwater.” She stated.

[rimarii]

"I am called Void by any who address me with words. Most either attack me on sight...or run." He almost choked on his last words, thinking of those who had been so scared of him as to flee. How terrible he must be to induce such reactions from rational creatures? Void shuddered, then closed his eyes. "It doesn't help, whatever you say nothing helps until the pain is gone, until the problem is resolved." He said, as much to himself as to the other wolf standing before him. This wasn't right, nothing was right in the world, he was so alone...Void suddenly became aware that he was probably back on the edge of madness, and struggled to regain some control. Pain flared in his mind, painting his closed eyelids a tangled array of Raging oranges and purples, then slowly cleared, like a veil being drawn back to let in the light. Void opened his eyes and shook his head, growling inwardly at his lack of self-control, then straightened and stood once more. His injured legs protested, hurting acutely, but he took no notice of the pain. It was so much his world now, that he sometimes just felt numb. Void focused on the female, almost forgetting not to make eye contact and quickly withdrawing his gaze. "I'm sorry, I..I don't know what...came over me" He said hesitantly, aware that she would probably leave now, even if he didn't...

[--> S u s a n]

“I doubt that,” she mumbled under her breath. She has had lived with Rikara for almost all her life. She tried to remember to the point when she was only known as Yakira, though it was very dim and she could not remember much. She did remember how everyone used to call her Yaki. Little Yaki. The nickname had stuck with her for a whole year, until her father was killed then her mother killed herself and she was transformed into Rikara when Bandit and Rebel took her to their ‘uncle’ who bit her, “some can get rid of their problems, and others, like me just deal with it.” She said with a shrug of her shoulders. She wouldn’t really call it giving up, but she wasn’t going to let it ruin the rest of her life. Even though she had no idea what she was going to do. She would just live her life, whatever that meant. “I believe I have accepted the fact. Do I like it, no? But life isn’t always what you’re hoping it to be. I learned that a long time ago.” She said with a sigh. She tilted her head as a strange reaction came over to him, but she did not flinch. “Eh, that is alright.” She said slowly. She had seen some hard times and odd others – after all she is not normal herself- and it took much to freak her out anymore.

[rimarii]

Void had waited for her to turn away, and was shocked when she actually continued talking. Then again, she had probably seen worse. Her eyes looked older than she was in Void's opinion. "Yes...of course." He managed to say. Certainly he knew wolves who were unable to bear it, but few had anything even vaguely like him, and Void had only ever met one, who was cured shortly after. The same 'cure' had not worked on Void. He could still remember the singing, and the flower opening around him, and then...nothing. Several wolves had tried to break Void's curse through various means, and one fae had claimed that she had created his curse, but none of the attempts had suceeded. Void had thanked them for trying in most cases before leaving...He had seen so many places, just like he used to dream about, but not in the way he had imagined it. Be careful what you wish for he thought bitterly. Void looked at the female again, wondering if she would free herself of this Rikara. At least she could help herself, if only she knew how. Void hated to see pain in other wolves, no matter how small the amount. It was the effect of all the pain he himself had suffered, his way of lessening it... "I will be forced to leave soon..." He said, pained. Only a bit more rest, his wings couldn't take it...

[--> S u s a n]

“So will I,” Yakira said no longer looking at him. She turned to look at her pathetic reflection, reflecting her new self, but not the way she wished she could be. She knew hoping and reaming was useless, for she had to believe in reality. If she fell into her dream land then everything she knew would fall apart…because life was not fair. She knew that right from the beginning. She had to learn the hard way. Unlike most she was sucked up into drama and was never let go. She was accustomed to it. She had accepted everything, or at least that is what she told herself. She turned her head away from water. She did not like water much. Ever since her mother killed herself by falling from a waterfall…mother…the thoughts were bitter in her head. Her mother was weak and depressed, she could not handle the pain, she was not strong enough, and so in the end she killed herself.

She sighed. She could feel Rikara stirring up again, but she did not express the pain she was feeling inside. She turned to look at Void, “when Rikara comes who knows what she will do. I usually end up waking up covered in blood. I do not want to think or know what she does while she has a control over my body. All I know it is not good…not good at all.” She said with a sad shake of her head. That was the worst part about it. If Rikara did not kill or whatever she did then Yakira would be able to fully accept her and her life, but because of that, she wasn’t able too. Rikara reminded her so much of her former life, the way she used to like, a constant reminder so she would never be free to forget. She hated that. She hated Rikara. She was pretty sure Rikara was not too fond of her either. Yakira closed her heart off of love, but Rikara, she had a mate. Yakira knew little about it, but she found it ironic. “Luckily for me she does not come too often. Only once or twice a month at the most,” she said, able to be grateful about something at least. If Rikara came more often then that, then she was not sure what she would do. She sighed, her eyes meeting the ground…

[rimarii]

Void dipped his shadowed head carefully, knowing that he was about to be made to fly away. "Whatever luck I can wish you in ridding yourself of this Rikara, you have it." He said hesitantly, looking up again whilst still avoiding eye contact. Void suddenly remembered the many others he had bid farewell to, and how often only misery and death followed in his path. Most had been glad to see him go, a few had not. Void had returned to visit those who actually liked him, if only for a short time and with a great deal of extra pain to endure while they were close. It was perhaps not the most wise of ideas, as it only served to create more pain. One wolf had been pushed into madness after Void left, but that incident wasn't entirely his fault as the wolf in question had a history of being left by others. Void flicked back to the present as a new wave of pain exploded down his wings, forcing him to half open them and wince. "It was a pleasure meeting you Yakira Riverwater. I must move on now, but I hope our paths may cross again someday. Good luck and good fortune!" Void said somewhat hoarsely as his wings opened to their full extent, then beat slowly, lifting Void off the dead patch of ground he had been sat on. Void rose high into the air, then turned and flew away into the darkening sky, wingbeats slow and deliberate. He raised his bloodstained muzzle to the sky, and let out a howl, calling his sorrow to the heavens above...